talkative tuesday: lee kuan yew vs. daughter

Let’s have a new theme for today. Let’s call it “Talkative Tuesday”. A complete opposite of “Wordless Wednesday”. Today will be all about words, words and more words. Too bad to those who hate to read, you just have to bear with me today ;-)

I have two articles to share. They are a bit dated (published in 2009), but remain relevant regardless. The first one is a story of a father’s worry of his unmarried daughter. The second one is the daughter’s response to it.


Dr. Lee Wei Ling, then 19, with her parents Mr. & Mrs. Lee Kuan Yew in Rajashtan, India. (Photo credit here)

A bit on the father:
The man might be one of the most brilliant leaders the world has ever seen, but he remains a father nonetheless. One who worries about his little girl endlessly. The fact that she’s a grown woman doesn’t lessen his worry one tiny bit. In fact, as he enters his golden age, he worries even more, as he wonders who will take care of her when he’s no longer there.

A bit on the daughter:
She’s the epitome of a successful career woman. A medical doctor by profession, she is the head of National institute of Neurological Sciences in Singapore. She’s smart, tough and opinionated. She knew there were truths in what her father said, but that didn’t mean she would agree with his every word. She gave her own side of the story, so we as readers could make our own judgment.

Since the two articles combined make one super long entry, I shall leave them for 2 days (today and tomorrow) for you to read and ponder upon. So instead of me blabbering on what I think and get your comments on it, let’s do this the other way round.

I want you tell me what you think.

What to do moving forward? Shall single women just grab any guy on the street and start making babies so we won’t grow old alone? Shall we adopt? Shall we look for a sperm donor? Shall we enter into prenuptial agreements that say let’s stay married till we produce how many kids, let me have full custody, and then you are free do whatever you wish?

Tell me, I want to know. If you don’t wish to be identified, leave an anonymous comment, I’m fine with that. Let’s put emotions on hold and start being practical. Provide honest, constructive and workable solutions. That’s all I ask.

Enjoy the read. Looking forward to your thoughts!



PART 1: A FATHER’S WORRY

Baby gloom haunts Lee: True-blue citizens may go the way of the Mohicans with the city-state’s falling marriage and birth rates

The rising number of reluctant brides, particularly among the highly educated, has again been highlighted by Singapore’s founding leader Lee Kuan Yew.

In a recent dialogue with undergraduates, Minister Mentor Lee pointed to his own daughter as an example when he talked about the long-term impact of falling marriage and procreation rates.

His concern about Singapore’s population slide had been around for some 25 years, seeing it a threat to its long-term survival.

A newspaper headline just asked: “Will we be the last of the Mohicans (an American Red Indian tribe that became extinct)?”

In other words, the low fertility will lead to the extinction of the present 3.25 million true-blue Singaporeans.

The white-haired Lee says an increasing number of the better-educated women are choosing to remain single as a lifestyle choice, and happy with it.

Some 33% of men and women are single, according to Lee. And to prevent an eventual collapse, Singapore has to import foreigners.

Lee aimed his marriage-and-population message at the very people – university students – he wanted to reach.

When he first talked about the subject, it was a generation ago. The people then would have included some parents of the current audience.

At the time, the reaction was a surprise since the birth rates were not yet at crisis point.

Lee is 86 today. This year he enters a historic 50th year of state leadership to become the world’s longest serving leader.

He showed the students an uncharacteristic glimpse of his softer, fatherly figure, a divergence from his past combatant self. This time, he talked of his unmarried daughter to make a point.

She is Dr. Lee Wei Ling, the bright 54-year-old director of the National institute of Neurological Sciences, who once lashed out at the “elitist attitude of some in our upper socio-economic class.”

Writing that she was neither anti-establishment nor “a government mouthpiece,” Dr. Lee added: “I am capable of independent thought.”

Something dad probably agrees with. In his fatherly eyes, Dr. Lee – however mature or brilliant – is still a child who needs looking after.

After saying that one-third of men and women in Singapore were single “and quite comfortable with their lives”, the Minister Mentor said: “My daughter is one of them. What can I do?”

Then in an unusually emotional mood, Lee told the young audience: “When she was in her early 30s, I told her, never mind all this.”

“My wife and I used to tell her, what you want is a “Mrs.” (to her name). She didn’t think it was funny. Now, she is 50-plus.”

“I’m getting old. I’ve got a pacemaker. We’ve got this big house, everything is looked after now, but what happens when we are no longer there?

“Who’s going to run this place? Who’s going to make sure that the maids are doing the right thing and so on and so forth? That’s the price she (Dr. Lee) will have to pay.”

“She says, I’ll look after myself, but she has not been looking after herself all these years.”

“She went abroad for her studies. And her cooking was just to take the salmon and put it in the microwave and heat it up. You can do it and then go to the canteen, but when you do that day after day...”

“It’s a choice she has made and a choice that 35% of our women are making.”

However, in the 21st Century, women are the key to population control, Lee said, but “you have to couple an educated woman with equal job opportunities.”

The ageing Lee is still not beyond putting down his opponents either in the courts or using the law and police. On this occasion he talked of his own mortality.

At any rate, he remains very active in the running of the country.

He no longer sounded like the pugnacious 35-year-old lawyer who became Singapore’s first prime minister in 1959 when it was a self-governing colony.

In talking about lifestyle choice, Lee may have left out other factors that is contributing to fewer Singaporeans marrying and producing babies.

One is the highly competitive life in a tiny Singapore that has few resources. From school to work to business, it is one test after another for the people.

Another is the high cost of living. The Economist Intelligence survey named Singapore the 10th most expensive country in the world, and the present crisis could make things tougher.

Last year inflation rose by 6.5%, the highest level in 28 years, with the poor being the hardest hit – not a formula for more babies.

During the past decade wages of the broad middle class stagnated, while that of the lower-income group actually declined.

Some young critics blame it on policies that Lee had instituted all these years, particularly giving priority to economic growth over individual needs.

This is the second time Lee has referred to his offsprings being affected by dramatic social changes.

Apart from his daughter, Lee had earlier said that Li Hongyi, his grandson (the son of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong) had succumbed to the emigration trend. He has said he may remain in the United States after graduation.

A Singaporean wrote: “At least Lee now realises that no matter how tight he controls Singapore, there are things that are beyond him – like marriage, emigration and having children.”

His problem is amplified by a young lady, who wrote: “We don’t need men to take care of our needs. We can afford our every material whim and fancy.”

(Credit to The Star)



PART 2: A DAUGHTER’S DEFENCE (OR DEFIANCE?)

Dr. Lee Wei Ling (Lee Kuan Yew’s daughter) as to the reason why she remained single

My father became prime minister in 1959, when I was just four years old. Inevitably, most people know me as Lee Kuan Yew’s daughter.

My every move, every word, is scrutinised and sometimes subject to criticism. One friend said I lived in a glass house. After my father’s recent comment on my lack of culinary skills, another observed: “You live in a house without any walls.” Fortunately, I am not easily embarrassed.

As long as my conscience is clear, what other people say of me does not bother me. Indeed, I am open about my life since the more I try to conceal from the public, the wilder the speculation becomes.

My father said of my mother two weeks ago: “My wife was…not a traditional wife. She was educated, a professional woman… We had Ah Mahs, reliable, professional, dependable. (My wife) came back every lunchtime to have lunch with the children.”

Actually, my mother was a traditional wife and mother. She was not traditional only in one respect: She was also a professional woman and, for many years, the family’s main breadwinner.

One of my mother’s proudest possessions is a gold pendant that my father commissioned for her. He had a calligrapher engrave on the pendant the following characters: ‘xian qi liang mu’ and ‘nei xian wai de’.

The first four characters mean virtuous wife and caring mother. The second four mean wise in looking after the family, virtuous in behaviour towards the outside world.

My mother lived her life around my father and, while we were young, around her children. I remember my mother protesting gently once about something my father had asked her to do.

“It is a partnership, dear,” my father urged.

“But it is not an equal partnership,” my mother replied.

The partnership may not have been exactly equal at particular points in time. But over the years, especially after my mother’s health deteriorated after she suffered a stroke, my father was the one who took care of her. She clearly indicated she preferred my father’s care to that of the doctors’, in itself a revelation of the quality of his care.

He remembers her complicated regime of medications. Because she cannot see on the left side of her visual field, he sits on her left during meals. He prompts her to eat the food on the left side of her plate and picks up whatever food her left hand drops on the table.

I have always admired my father for his dedication to Singapore, his determination to do what is right, his courage in standing up to foreigners who try to tell us how to run our country.

But my father was also the eldest son in a typical Peranakan family. He cannot even crack a soft-boiled egg – such things not being expected of men, especially eldest sons, in Peranakan families.

But when my mother’s health deteriorated, he readily adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate her, took care of her medications and lived his life around her. I knew how much effort it took him to do all this, and I was surprised that he was able to make the effort.

If my parents have such a loving relationship, why then did I decide to remain single?

Firstly, my mother set the bar too high for me. I could not envisage being the kind of wife and mother she had been.

Secondly, I am temperamentally similar to my father. Indeed, he once said to me: “You have all my traits – but to such an exaggerated degree that they become a disadvantage in you.”

When my father made that pendant for my mother, he also commissioned one for me. But the words he chose for me were very different from those he chose for my mother.

On one side of my pendant was engraved ‘yang jing xu rui’, which means to conserve energy and build up strength. On the other side was engraved ‘chu lei ba cui’, which means to stand out and excel.

The latter was added just for completion. His main message was in the first phrase, telling me, in effect, not to be so intense about so many things in life.

I knew I could not live my life around a husband; nor would I want a husband to live his life around me. Of course, there are any number of variations in marital relationships between those extremes. But there is always a need for spouses to change their behaviour or habits to suit each other. I have always been set in my ways and did not fancy changing my behaviour or lifestyle.

I had my first date when I was 21 years old. He was a doctor in the hospital ward I was posted to. We went out to a dinner party. I noted that the other guests were all rich socialites. I dropped him like a hot potato.

In 2005, while on an African safari with a small group of friends, one of them, Professor C.N. Lee, listed the men who had tried to woo me. There were three besides the first. Two were converted into friends and another, like the first, was dropped.

I am now 54 years old and happily single. In addition to my nuclear family, I have a close circle of friends. Most of my friends are men. But my reputation is such that their female partners would never consider me a threat.

More than 10 years ago, when there was still a slim chance I might have got married, my father told me: “Your mother and I could be selfish and feel happy that you remain single and can look after us in our old age. But you will be lonely.”

I was not convinced. Better one person feeling lonely than two people miserable because they cannot adapt to each other, I figured.

I do not regret my choice. But I want to end with a warning to young men and women: What works for me may not work for others.

Many years ago, a young single woman asked me about training in neurology in a top US hospital. I advised her to ‘grab the opportunity’.

She did and stayed away for eight years. She returned to Singapore in her late 30s and now worries that she may have missed her chance to get married.

Fertility in women drops dramatically with age, and older mothers run the risk of having offspring with congenital abnormalities.

Recent studies show also that advanced paternal age is associated with an increased risk of neurodevelopmental disorders in offspring, such as autism and schizophrenia, not to mention dyslexia and a subtle reduction in intelligence. Men can also suffer from diminished fertility with age although there is wide individual variation.

I would advise young men and women not to delay getting married and having children. I say this not to be politically correct. I say it in all sincerity because I have enjoyed a happy family life as a daughter and a sister, and I see both my brothers enjoying their own families.

(Credit to The Sunday Times)

22 comments:

PatinPasta said...

Dieya,
For me, everybody's entitled to their own life, women and men. How they wanna live their own life is up to them. Single. Married. In relationship. Out of relationship. No relationship. Whatever.

When we start to criticise/judge other people's life.. it's because we want them to live according to OUR way and usually we coat it by saying it's because we love them and wanna do what's best for them. Who are we to be in that position? If we really love/care for that person, then we should accept them for who they are. Be sincerely happy for them.

My 2 cents.

Zuraida said...

Dieya,

I think marriage should be about choice and love, and not about the necessity to procreate. I think I am still the sappy romantic deep down inside but then, what's the point of living a life if you can't live it to the fullest and happiest?

I don't think its wrong to be single and unmarried.I am not saying this just because I'm hitting the big 3 and still not married but then marriage is not the only thing that make a person happy. These days we have the financial freedom, independance as well as the support of family, friends, nucleus family and by virtue of what the Jolie-Pitt's and Madonna does, the ability to adopt. *grin*. Gone are the traditional way of creating families, we define families to more than just people we are married into, and includes others that we love.

Only we can make our lives worth living.So single or married, lets do the best out of it.

AGAS said...

I am working, married to an engineer hv 3 children.I am deprived of ME time.I am happy and learn to happy with the situation and condition. Lucky me for making the decision to remain happy.I promise to be a responsible and good wife, mother and future grandma.

If I could turn back the clock, I wish to remain single. Why?

From my point of view, to be married, working mother, raising 3 growing up children you must be prepared mentally, spiritually, economy and personal disposition to face the challenges. If you don't hv this characteristics,you are nowhere. Believe me, this women are born with these qualities not bred.

For those ladies outside there, if you are single, pls do soul searching b4 U thinks of marriage. Remember, once married you are tied with endless responsibility and etc. Nothing wrong for being single.If u r prepare, please go ahead.

My sister remain spinster at the age of 48 and she is happy.

Azian

dieya said...

aida,
i totally agree. each person to his/her own life. other people should just be happy that the person in happy. just because they don't live the way you wish them to live, doesn't mean that they are any less happy, in fact they might be happier perhaps!
muchas gracias for your thought, definitely worth a lot more than 2 cents :-D

zue,
i'm pretty intrigued about te adoption idea too *grin*
definitely, friends and pets can also be family, aight?
yes, let's make the best out of everything!
thanks for your thoughts babe!

azian,
thank you for your fascinating view from the other side of the fence! wow, those sure look like plenty of responsibilities. i totally second you on the preparation bit. many people i know took the plunge thinking it's gonna be cotton candies and fireworks day after day, yet when they found out it isn't, they didn't know how to react.
owh yes, let's choose to be happy!

dyanna said...

Dieya, I have to tell you this first -->
Mula2 ingatkan nak cerita how that lady on the most left is related to you. Because of her wide grin nampak serupa with yours =D Are you sure you're not related to LKY's wife.

Back to the point:
I use to ask this question, 'If we (women) are all capable of taking care of ourselves, we can cook, we can pay the bills, we can go anywhere we want. Then why do we need to be married and be dependent on another person?'
Then I got my answer, sunnah Rasulullah SAW utk meramaikan umat Islam. Ok, lepas tu tak tanya dah la, cos who am I to question someone like that. For the betterment of the ummah. Power in numbers.

For those people who says marriage will cramp our style economically, well they shouldn't worry because Allah SWT has promised in the Quran that He WILL provide all the necessities to His servants. So must trust Him on that.

But personally I think people who says this, is just giving an excuse for not getting married. we do that sometimes, giving excuses to reinforce ourselves when enduring peer pressure. My own excuses range from being commitment phobic, some reverse psychology issues and living up to Destiny's Child Independent Woman song. i know sounds quite mental, but I do that...

In my head, marriage is not something that you should enter lightly, because in my opinion it is a lifetime commitment. Do you remember in Taiping something abt to prepare for marriage, it takes 10 yrs (something like that). And there's a list of characteristics of picking out a wife/husband. That is why we have to be picky, and not just get hitched with the next guy who asks our hand for marriage, in order to avoid 'divorce', a word that shakes the strong columns in Arasy, but ironically is at the highest rate right now.

I agree with what Dr Lee said, our fathers had set the standard quite high for us, but I'm not blaming dad for that, but thanking him instead for showing me what are the qualities to look for in a husband.

I'm not shunning marriage as per se. I still have my hopes up to find that one needle in the haystack. If it written for me and if there comes a day (which I honestly can't imagine having) I will accept with open arms. But until that day comes, I am happy with what I have now, what I had in the past and what I will have in the future.

Since it's talkative Tuesday, my comment pun 'talkative' gak ler :P

PENA CELORENG said...

Part 1
Dieya,
Pertamanya, saya mohon menyampaikan pendapat dalam Bahasa Melayu supaya ianya tidak disalahertikan. Kerana banyak sebab. Antaranya kadang-kadang bahasa Inggeris saya memberi maksud yang berbeza dengan apa yang saya hasratkan.
Isu akan perlu atau tidak akan perkahwinan kepada seorang PEREMPUAN, perlu di hujah dengan bijaksana tanpa menzahirkan sebarang emosi. Perspektif mana yang kita pilih?. PEREMPUAN mana yang kita maksudkan. Adakah PEREMPUAN yang agamanya Islam atau sebaliknya? Saya ingin berhujah dari perspektif PEREMPUAN yang agamanya ialah ISLAM.
Jika kita terus pergi kepada Hukum Hakam yang berlandaskan al-Quran dan Sunnah, maka perbincangan kita akan terus menemui titiknya atau noktah. Kerana apa? Kerana kita tidak boleh menidakkan apa yang telah digariskan oleh al-Quran dan Sunnah dan kemudiannya di sepakati oleh para ulama.
Keduanya; adakah perkahwinan itu WAJIB? Agama Islam tidak menetapkan wajib dan terus titik tanpa ada perbincangan selepasnya. Ianya wajib pada yang tertentu dan kelonggaran diberi kepada yang tertentu. Dalam isu ini, Umat Islam khususnya para ulama berpegang kepada dua teras iaitu Surah An-nur, ayat 32 dan Hadis sahih Rasulullah riwayat Bukhari dan muslim.
Surah An-Nur, ayat 32, bermaksud “Dan kahwinilah orang-orang bujang lelaki dan perempuan dari kalangan kamu dan orang-orang yang soleh dari kalangan hamba-hamba kamu lelaki dan perempuan”
Maksud ayat ini adalah jelas dan tidak wujud metafora atau kiasan. Allah S.W.T menyeru orang lelaki dan perempuan supaya berkahwin. Kenapa Tuhan tidak menyatakan WAJIB dan kenapa hanya berbentuk seruan? Ianya tidak sama kepada sesetengah hukum Islam yang lain yang mana secara terang Allah S.W.T menyatakan WAJIB. Seperti menunaikan sembahyang lima waktu; jelas difirmankan sebagai wajib. Tetapi dalam bab perkahwinan ini ianya diseru atau dinasihatkan sahaja. Hujah saya, iaitu perkahwinan ini hanya diseru atau disarankan disokong oleh hadis Rasulullah yang diriwayatkan oleh Bukhari dan Muslim. Hadis ini adalah termasuk dalam golongan hadis-hadis sahih. Rasulullah bersabda 'Wahai para pemuda, sesiapa di antara kamu yang mampu memikul tanggungjawab perkahwinan, hendaklah dia kahwin. Sesungguhnya perkahwinan itu menahan pandangan dan memelihara kemaluan (kesucian). Bagi sesiapa yang tidak mampu (berkahwin) maka hendaklah dia berpuasa, kerana puasa itu dapat menahan nafsunya'.

Samb...

PENA CELORENG said...

Part 2
Nah! Ini dia, yang mana sabda Rasulullah bertepatan dengan Firman Allah. Bahkan Rasulullah menyatakan dengan lebih jelas iaitu memberi pilihan sama ada ingin berkahwin atau pun tidak. Pilihlah!. Upppp, nanti dulu, tidak semudah itu dan tidak boleh memahami dengan berat yang sangat ringan. Rasulullah menyuruh umatnya iaitu lelaki yang mampu memikul tanggungjawab supaya berkahwin kerana perkahwinan itu boleh memelihara nafsu zahir dan batin. Dan Rasulullah juga memberi kelonggaran bagi yang tidak mampu berkahwin, maka ia dibolehkan dan rasulullah menasihati supaya golongan ini berpuasa bagi mengawal nafsu zahir dan batin.
Tak salahkan kalau tak kahwinkan? Betul ke? Bersandarkan dua teras dan pegangan ini, para ulama membahagikan empat kategori keperluan kepada perkahwinan iaitu wajib, sunat , makruh dan haram. Saya tidak berhajat ingin menghurai empat tahap keperluan ini kerana berpendapat kita sedia maklum. Yang pentingnya di sini ialah Islam tidak secara total mewajibkan umatnya berkahwin bahkan ada keadaannya perkahwinan itu adalah HARAM. Dasar atau pemahaman ini harus kita fahami terlebih dahulu sebelum membuat keputusan atau melanjutkan perbincangan.
Walau bagaimanapun, bagi yang mampu, Hukum secara jelas MEWAJIBKAN golongan mampu ini berkahwin. Maka kahwinlah Dieya. Kerana anda memang mampu.
Mari kita berbicara dari aspek sejarah akan keperluan hidup bersama antara lelaki dan perempuan. Kita merentas waktu yang lebih jauh dari kisah qabil. Dalam Kitab Al-A’raf mengupas akan kisah nabi Allah Adam yang kesunyian di dalam syurga dan berdoa kepada Tuhan supaya di berikan teman. Maka Adam diberikan Hawanya. Lumrah kejadian manusia menunjukkan sifat saling memerlukan dan tidak boleh hidup keseorangan atau kesunyian. Lumrah ini dijadikan kepada semua makhluk ciptaan Allah S.W.T. Namakanlah apa sekalipun, ianya mesti dijadikan berpasang-pasang. Syaitan yang tidak mahu sujud kepada Adam dikeluarkan dari syurga yang kemudiannya menurut pendapat ulama menggunakan sama ada ular atau burung merak bagi menghasut hawa supaya memujuk Adam melanggar perintah Tuhan. Ular dan burung merak adalah binatang peliharaan ahli-ahli syurga yang mana ular digambarkan sangat cantik dan berkaki dan burung merak dengan segala keindahan warnanya. Ulam menghujahkan bahawa nabi Adam dan hawa yang diturunkan ke bumi tetapi di lokasi yang berlainan. Menurut pendapat ulama, Nabi Allah Adam diturunkan di benua India dan hawa diturunkan di sempadan Yaman. Jauhkan?

Bersambung……

~jeet~ said...

phew...that was loads of words..hehehe...but never mind, i read it anyway,

in my humble opinion, a marriage is supposed to be when 2 person agree to live with each other, accepting the person just the way they are, and both are willing to work in making things work. its an equal partnership. whether or not to have kids, its a different story altogether,

grabbing any guy on the street is not the end of a problem, no matter how critical the population problem is, we should aim for quality, not quantity (which is obviously lacking in Malays' mindset) bnyk anak bagus..murah rezeki, but do they really see through the children getting good education so that they can achieve their full potential?


kalo kawin nak dapat anak, what will guarantee that the anak will take care of us in the future? by that time they will have their own life and challenges to deal with.

i like her statement " I knew I could not live my life around a husband; nor would I want a husband to live his life around me."

very true indeed. as long in our conscience mind, we are clear on what will make us happy, kita tak kacau orang (or suami orang for that maatter) insyaAllah all is well.

good one that you put this on the table ;)

ahkakbatik said...

yang.. grass always looks greener on the other side. Dengan anak mpatbelas, 1st class degree dah letak bawah katil, I just look after my own lawn. Life is short, make full of it.

dieya said...

dyanna,
now that you've mentioned it, they do come from peranakan family like i do, so there's a chance i might be lee kuan yew's distant grandniece :-D
considering marriage is sunnah Rasulullah, i bet there many good reasons to it that we as ummah have to discover, if we haven't already. but as much as i believe that marriage comes with rezeki, i also believe one has to work hard to get it, it won't just land on the lap.
hey i do roughly remember that "10 year preparation" thingy! and about our fathers (even grandpas and uncles too) setting too high of a bar, like my dad used to say.. "good men are either married or dead, stop looking for them!" :-p
p.s. no prob at all, keep on with the "talkative" spirit!


pena celoreng,
macam kat sidang parlimen pulak siap mohon izin nak bercakap :-D
no worries, any languange will do, janji sampai maksud.
i totally enjoy reading your thoughts on this topic. sangat menarik. dasar kenapa wajib or sunat or haram, i do understand. but i think lain org lain pemahamannya. for instance, yg baru habis sekolah rasa diri wajib kahwin utk elak dosa, padahal kerja pun tak lagi, mcm mana nak tanggung anak bini. yg mampu financially pulak rasa diri makruh kahwin pasal tak reti masak or jaga budak, sapa nak take care of the family nanti. so mana u tahu i mampu ;-)
looking forward to sambungan cerita ular berkaki dan merak warna warni. cepat sambung tau!

jeet,
i can't agree more on the quality vs. quantity bit, so true! and about there's no guarantee that your child will take care of u in the future, can't be worded any better. as if u read my mind! (which is not the first time kan :-p)
tak kacau org or suami org.. hahaha.. kelakar! but true at the same time!
no prob at all. nice to read everyone's thoughts on this.

kaktek,
yer ek, we always want what other ppl have, yet often tak perasan yg other ppl want what we have.
1st class degree still berguna tu. masuk frame, tampal kat living room, buat motivasi anak mpatblas tu blajo rerajin.
yeah life is short indeed. yok enjoy yok!

Maya Marisa said...

Dieya,

wooo very intriguing article babe!
great minds think alike. i wrote something along the line yesterday, but decided not to publish it yet. dunno why. perhaps bg laluan kat u dulu kot. anyway, here r my thoughts/POV

marriage is togetherness. marriage is also like a piece of jigsaw puzzles. u got to find the one that fits you and vice versa and this is how Eve was being described in both bible & quran having being created from the infamous tulang rusuk kiri nabi adam. in short - each one will hv our own partner. kerana setiap makhluk allah tu dijadikan berpasangan...hehehe

i dont believe in rushing into things. but rather on - going on with the flow. cos in the end - it's all written in the loh mahfuz & its kunfayakun.

also, just to concur with kak tek - the grass is always greener on the other side. btullll. u always envy the dish on other people's plate. ala bila kat restoran tu, dont tell me u tak jeling skit pun kat meja sebelah tu yea tak??? :P

p/s: this MCsss are doing me good. it makes me more talkative.....

dieya said...

maya,
indeed! funny u mentioned the abbreviation "POV", the last time i used it was during my consulting days ;-)
yeah what's the rush, it will only make us susceptible to mistakes.
hahaha betul laa, i selalu je recce meja org sebelah b4 placing my order :-D
p.s. definitely! have a good rest chica so u can talk even more k? can't wait to read that entry that u r planning to write!

Zuraida said...

oh i like ahkakbatik punya komen!

:)

dieya said...

zue,
kembang laa lubang idung kaktek tuh karang :-D

ahkakbatik said...

dah kembang pong!..ngeh.

dieya said...

kaktek,
gi amik vacuum cleaner cepat.. dah berterabur dah saham idung kaktek atas lappy baru..

PENA CELORENG said...

D: I dah sambung. Tapi sebab terlalu panjang, tak leh nak post kat sini. Camna?

PENA CELORENG said...

Part 3

Dalam memetik sandaran-sandaran yang digunakan pakai oleh ulama bagi membahaskan isu, kita perlu memahami bentuk bahan yang digunakan. Jika ia bersandarkan kepada al-Quran dan hadi sahih, maka tidak banyak persoalan. Tetapi terdapat lagi satu sandaran iaitu cerita ‘israeliat’. Ia sering digunakan oleh ustaz atau tok guru bagi menjadikan hujah dan syarahan mereka menjadi lebih menarik. Cerita-cerita israeliat memang menyokong hujah ulama.

Bagi bab kisah ular dan burung merak yang di katakan sebagai antara binatang kesukaan ahli syurga, kisah ini menjawab persoalan iblis dan Adam. Bagaimana? Seperti yang kita sedia maklum, Iblis dikeluarkan dari syurga kerana tidak mahu sujud kepada Adam dan Adam dan hawa kekal di dalam syurga. Iblis telah memujuk hawa supaya memujuk Adam memakan buah larangan. Persoalannya, bagaimana iblis memujuk hawa? Sedangkan iblis di luar syurga dan hawa di dalam syurga. Iblis sama sekali tidak boleh masuk ke syurga. Mak itu, ada sesetengah ulama menghujahkan bahawa iblis menggunakan perantaraan binatang peliharaan ahli-ahli syurga iaitu ular ataupun burung merak bagi memujuk hawa. Ada ulama yang mengatakan, iblis masuk ke dalam perut ular dan masuk ke dalam syurga dan berbual dengan hawa ketika hawa sedang berehat. Bunyi macam lawak je kan. Tetapi itu adalah kisah israeliat yang menyokong persoalan bagaimana iblis bertemu dengan hawa. Selepas kisah ini berakhir, anda akan memahaminya hubungan kisah ini dengan isunya. Dan juga apakah kaitan kisah ini dengan isu yang dibawa oleh Dieya.

Samb...

PENA CELORENG said...

Part 4

Iblis memujuk Hawa supaya memujuk Adam memakan buah larangan. Katanya, Allah tidak membenarkan Adam memakan buah tersebut kerana Allah ingin Adam mati lebih awal dari hawa. Sekiranya Adam memakan buah tersebut, maka Adam akan berumur panjang dan dapat hidup kekal bersama hawa. Kalau tidak, Adam akan mati awal dan hawa akan tinggal keseorangan. Maka hawa memujuk Adam memakan buah larangan. (saya tidak berhajat ingin mengupas isu kenapa Allah melarang Adam memakan buah berkenaan? Insya-Allah, jika ada kesempatan, kita akan mengupas isu ini). Hikmah dari kisah ini, menunjukkan, kaum hawa tidak boleh hidup keseorangan, kaum hawa memerlukan kaum Adam bagi keperluan yang tidak boleh disediakan oleh kaum sejenisnya. Sifat dan fitrah hawa memang sedemikian. Begitu juga dengan fitrah Adam. Jap lagi saya cite, part mana Adam memerlukan hawa.

Samb..

dieya said...

pena celoreng,
israeliat? first time dengar term ni.
ohhh.. can't wait for next part. this is getting even more interesting!
p.s. takleh post eh? check your e-mail :-)

Erin said...

Wah, byknye komentar...smpai xtau nk komen ape dah haha. I believe in jodoh...kalo ada,adala. Tapi ada jugak org cakap jodoh kne carik, cemana tu? Hehe...

dieya said...

erin,
kalu tatau nak komen apa ketuk2 je laa keyboard tu asal keluar hurup.. tetap diterima oleh pihak juri :-D
cari cari carilahhh... *nyanyi lagu rabbani*