dreading raya: a post-mortem

I’ve been thinking of doing a post-mortem on my entry about dreading raya. Since we are approaching the end of Syawal, the timing is absolutely perfect to put the idea into action to wrap-up the month.

So how many dreadful remarks have I heard over raya season? Countless. Here are several worth sharing:

“So you are 26? 27? What, 29?! What are you waiting for?”
Said my second cousin who has three teenage kids. Perhaps I’m waiting for the frog that I kissed at the sawah to turn into a prince.

“Too choosy maybe.”
Said my mum. Actually she already stopped talking about this topic months ago, since I jokingly asked her “Why? Can’t wait to kick me out of the house?”. But I guess other people’s endless pestering made her rethink about it and reopen the same can of worms.

“If you get married, I’ll give you A, B, C. If you give me grandkids, I’ll give you X, Y, Z (upgraded versions of A, B, C).”
Said my dad, the ever practical one. He actually said that a long time ago and repeated it several times since. His words are the only ones that made me think seriously about grabbing any man I can find on the street, get married and have babies. I know my dad is a man of his words and yes, the stuffs he promised are very attractive. He knows the way I think and he surely knows how to get me to do things I won’t otherwise do.

During raya, I also met several people who are in the same boat as I am. Seeing cousins, aunts and uncles who are also fellow singletons made me realize that I’m not alone in this journey after all. But nothing compared to meeting Miss S, my second cousin who’s my age and eldest of six siblings. Her younger brother just got married, so her parents were excited to introduce their new daughter-in-law to everyone in the kampung. I could only imagine how Miss S must have felt when people looked at her and said “Your younger brother is already married, what about you?”. To hear the same awful remark over and over again, gosh! And if you think that’s pitiful, hear this; her younger sister (the third child) is getting engaged in a few weeks time and the wedding is planned to be at the end of this year or early next year. How about that?

Suddenly I’m thankful that I only have brothers.

Like Jeet once said, her boat is my boat. It’s also Miss S’s boat as well as other singletons like us. I don’t know how long I’m going to paddle this boat. Until and unless I find a new engine-powered boat (an F1 speedboat would be nice, or a 15-feet luxury yacht, or a cruise ship.. okay enough daydreaming), I better keep on going so I won’t find myself drowning.

Jeet, Erin, Dyanna and Farah – My friends and cousins (including those unmentioned here), if any of you ever want to jump into another boat, you better give me advance notice, okay? Don’t you dare leave me alone in this boat without warning. I have seasick you know :-p

Angah and Hz – My wonderful brothers, if either of you plan to get married soon, I better hear it before anyone else so I can start applying for transfer to Rio de Janeiro or Budapest or Timbuktu. Yes Angah, I know you’ve been checking out wedding videos recently and dad has given you a green light to marry a Nihon-jin and stay in Japan for as long as you want. So I’m preparing for the worst here!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very much thankful for everything I have, but it seems like other people are determined to make me less thankful by pointing out the things that I don’t have. Why is it so hard for them to believe that I’m single AND happy?

I will always remember my dad’s advice: Count your blessings. Be thankful of what you have. If you keep looking at what other people have, there will never be an end to it.

I’m thankful and I’m happy. Will you be happy for me too?

P.S.: Check out Kak Jaja’s entry and Kak Liza’s entry on their versions of dreading raya. What about you? Have you experienced any?


~jeet~ said...

dieya, well said, in these days, we did have to have anybody's blessing for our condition, good enough that we know where we are at, and your father is a wise man indeed ;)

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream ;)

p/s: i want a 30ft yatch!!

~jeet~ said...

* did not have to have... i tertinggal NOT, leaving a very skewed message..hehehe

Mamamya said...


masih blm t'lmbt yer akak nak wish selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin.....( raya ada lg kan...kan...kan.....)

arini nak ziarah blog kawan2...nnti kita sembang2 lg yer...

dieya said...

i had to read your comment twice to make sure i got it right, hahaha! thanks for the clarification ;-)
yes babe, life is but a dream! but 30 ft yatch? susah nak maneuver laa. u jadi kapten eh? i sibuk nak muntah kat deck hilangkan mabuk :-D

k lieya,
you're back! i'm so happy to see you again! selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin utk k lieya jugak. ok selamat menziarah. sure banyak rumah k lieya nak gi beraya tu :-)

dyanna said...

My dad also used to 'bribe' me with incentives... clearly that didn't worked :P

Some people have boats with powerful engines, some people only get around with a paddle. The width of the river is also a factor to how long you'll reach the 'other' side, unless you're paddling on sea, then it'll take a really long time. But hey, there's other fishes in the water ;)

It is great that we are living in this age where women can fend for themselves and don't need no man to provide for her. We are given education, we are allowed to vote, we are allowed to work so that we can earn and buy what ever we want, do whatever we want and go anywhere we want. So there's nothing to worry about.

I've decided, if I am going to be on this boat for a long time, I'll make it a fabulous time and nobody's gonna ruin my journey.

gemawan said...

maybe angah watching to much of maria ozawa..hehehe..ijat..just kidding k..

dieya said...

hahaha yours too eh?
great thoughts girl, i second everthing you said. let's make the journey a fabulous one regardless of everything!

i guess so :-D can't blame him though, having an eye candy is a good motivation!

sheri said...

Dieya, throughout my life, I don't remember asking anyone, when are you getting married? i think it's downright rude. but, what's more important is, it shows how unislamic we are. i mean, if we truly hold the true meaning of Islam in our hearts, we will never ask ANYONE when they will get married, get more babies, etc as we know that the ONLY person who can answer that is Allah. To me, asking people when are they getting married (except kalau dah tunang la) is the same like asking people when they will die. both have no definite answers as the answer is only with God.

And so my dear friend (excuse the long comment, i am very passionate about this) take it as a test from Allah to test your patience. Like me, i can't have anymore kids, org dah tanya, sedang bertanya dan bakal tanya i bila i akan dpt kids lagi... and as sad is it is (plus ada org2 yg tanya tuh dah TAHU i takleh ada anak lagi) and yet still ask. sabar jela.. Sabar itu separuh dari Iman :D (literally, kan?). hehe.

great big hug to you my dear. kita sama2 sabar, ok? take care :D


leili said...

can i tumpang your boat?

Liza said...

my sis in law is getting married this december, i promise you i will do an entry post mortem of the wedding considering many people bermulut laser are going to be there

Erin said...

i dont think i would be leaving the boat any time soon too. bukan xnak, cuma the starts arent aligned yet haha...x nampak jalan lgsg, cemana tu hihi.

i'm content + happy with what i have, Alhamdulillah & i'm lucky that i have understanding parents (kalau i'm the eldest maybe lain kot but they already have 5 grandkids hehe). if it happens, it happens....if it doesnt maybe Allah has other plans for me :)

Erin said...

*i meant the stars...damn fingers haha.

betul2. kalau belum kawin sibuk tanya bila nak kawin, dah kawin bila nak ada anak, dah ada anak bila nak tambah lagi. aiyokk...never ending betul

JaJa'Z said...

dieya di tag! check it out ok..

JaJa'Z said...

soooooo true! apa yang u cakapkan tue...so typical ayat2 time raya kan...tahun ni akak kena sekali jek...mujur balik kampung sendiri takde yang buat sibuk2 mulut..kalau tak, mau kena fire kang..

dieya said...

i'm in awe with the part where you said asking people when are they getting married is the same like asking people when they will die. oh babe you're so brilliant! no wonder you are doing PhD! and yeah, kita sama2 sabar je laa kan *hugging sheri back real tight*
hey i love reading long comments, somehow it makes me feel that what i write hits the right spot ;-)

sure, hop on girl! buat macam bot sendiri :-D

k liza,
yeay! can't wait to read that one!

yeah mate, if it happens it happens. nak nampak bintang beratur? kena cari angkasawan nih.. hahaha! till then, let's make the most out of life!

k jaja,
owh kena tag eh.. nanti dieya check. orang2 kampung k jaja lebih memahami yek, or they know better than to mess with you coz takut kena fire!

エイザト said...

haha. pedih pedih.

most probably i'm coming back sooner than originally planned. so i don't think i have enough time to find a Nihon-jin adik ipar for you. makngah punya students pulak is either kanak-kanak or mak kepada kanak-kanak tersebut. tough luck. T_T

on a different note, macam biasa lah, kalau pergi Rio de Janeiro or Budapest or Timbuktu jangan lupa souvenir. ;)

~jeet~ said...

dieya, this post is such a hot one,sampai bukan i sorang terkehel jari nak comment (siap letak follow up comment nak clarify tuh..)
i baru start baca satu buku, memang related ngan tis topic, i'll share when i finish k ;)

dieya said...

hahaha tak dapat laa adik ipar maria ozawa cengginih. hv to wait for the kids to reach legal age then u go there again :-D
no problem, i'll bring home rio party gals for u!

hahaha sampai terkehel yek! yeah ramai yg berapi2 nak comment, which is good, reaffirms my believe that there are still other ppl in the boat. absolutely do share!