dreading raya?

As Hari Raya is fast approaching, many of us just can’t wait to start our long break and celebrate it with our loved ones. I for one can’t wait to be with my family, meet my relatives, eat good food, take nice photos and do many fun things on Hari Raya. I didn’t celebrate much last year as I was up to my nose with assignments, therefore I plan to have a really good time this year, even if I still have to do assignments :-p

As I trampled on several blogs, however, I found out that there are people who dread the arrival of Hari Raya. Why is that so? Isn’t it a day of joy? After a month of being refrained from eating and drinking all day, why would anyone not be happy that the restriction finally ends?

Allow me to share with you some observations on why the prospect meeting relatives and old friends on Hari Raya can be more dreadful than joyful:

(1) Because married women who have yet to be blessed with children will be bombarded with:
- Bila nak ada baby?
- Planning ke?
- Si dia tu baru sebulan kawin dah berisi, awak dah bertahun kawin tak berisi lagi?
- Dah cuba jumpa doktor A, bidan B, bomoh C?
- Dah cuba makan pil X, herba Y, jamu Z?

(2) Because unmarried women who have yet to find Mr. Right will be bombarded with:
- Bila nak kawin?
- Awak ni yang terlalu memilih sangat.
- Nak hidup sorang sampai ke tua?
- Awak ni pandai / bergaya / berjaya sangat, orang takut nak dekat.
- Nak makcik tolong carikan?

(3) Because someone who just lost a loved one will be bombarded with:
- Mesti sedih kan mak / ayah / datuk / nenek dah tak ada raya ni?
- Tak ingat kat dia?
- Dah pergi kubur dia?
- Kalaulah dia ada lagi.. bla bla bla..
- Tak buat tahlil ke?

To say that these comments are irritating is an understatement.

How I wish for these people stop being nosy and start respecting other people’s privacy. Do they find happiness from making others feeling miserable? Perhaps they mean well, but I truly believe that someone has to tell them the difference between being “a caring soul” and “an annoying witch’’.

We don’t dread Hari Raya. We just dread meeting people who live to ruin our Hari Raya.

P.S.: My solution to number (2) - dress to kill, act classy and intimidate those nosy makciks with your elegance and sophistication. Trust me, they have really low self-esteem. The moment they see that you are way out of their league, they will be shy to even look at you!

26 comments:

JaJa'Z said...

KES NUMBER 1....

tu lah yang selalu terjadi pada akak for the past 3 years...bosan dah dieya..time jumpa sedara2 lah yang malas ni...last year akak kena "diaorang ni tak puas enjoy lagi!!"..betapa sakitnya hati ni tuhan je la yg tau kan..kalau dah 3 tahn nak enjoy apanya lagi..by my own SIL plak tu..dia plak lebih2 cakap kat sedara2..en zack senyap je dengar...

but this year..kalau sapa cakap kitorang planning ke,tak puas enjoy lagi ke..akak nak jawab! takde senyap2 dah..

eh..ter emo plak..hehhehe

el isman said...

salammelekom

maaf kak boleh join ke mesyuarat kabinet ni.Bagi pandangan saya tu semua lumrah alam.kalau ada hitam mesti ada putihnya..in good times & bad times..yg ni yg depa kata raya.ada BN ada PR hehehe...kuih tart nenas dah hanguih.

Wht hapiness is there which is not purchased with more or less of pain?
Margaret Oliphant

MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

dyanna said...

I will be case #2... nasib baik raya kat Penang. All nosy aunts and uncles are far, far away in the east coast. Muahaha.

There's a joke about nosy aunts: who are always asking me at weddings 'When's your turn?'.. they stopped asking when I started asking them at funerals 'When's your turn?'

dieya said...

k jaja,
bila sedara terdekat yg cakap lagi laa betambah sakit hati kan. yeah k jaja jawab jgn tak jawab, sometimes these ppl tak sedar apa yg diorg ckp tu menyakitkan hati org. kena bagi sedebik supaya diorg sedar. go k jaja go!

isman,
sila2 jgn malu buat anda dijemput memeriahkan mesorat agung ini. aih.. mmg begitulah lumrah alam org2 yg suka menyibuk jaga tepi kain org. pi laa jaga kedai kain nagoya ka euromoda ka boleh untung juta2. mamu pi tgk tart nenas tu karang hanguih lagi seloyang membazir jaa.

dyanna,
lucky you! hahaha the funeral joke, too bad it's hard to predict when will be the next funeral so give them a piece of my mind :-D

~jeet~ said...

dieya : your boat is my boat too!! no #2 memang la...to me, lucky enuff sedara mara tak sibuk sgt, tapi kadang kawan-kawan yang lebih sikit la..

i memang pantang bab2 ni, by now sape yang penah sound i, i dah bagi sebiji..
my standard answer : cari suami memang senang, tapi nak cari imam yang boleh pimpin kita ke syurga susah...

skarang dorang dah mls nak komen, padan muka..

all the things above sentuh pasal jodoh, pertemuan, ajal maut, rezki..semua orang tau kan tu sume di tangan Allah...tapi still nak nyibuk, if its not meant to be yet..its not meant to be, simple kan?

sorry dah terpanjang lak komen ni..hehehe...

dieya said...

jeet,
it's okay lagi panjang lagi bagus i do wanna know what other ppl think of this. funny eh, your friends pun dah adopt the makcik attitude jugak ye.
hahaha your standard answer tu mmg boleh bagi orang kelu!

Fertzy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fertzy said...

manusia nie mmg takkan berhenti bercakap. aku tadek dlm case 1,2,atau 3 pon ttp kena tanyer.camno tue?? senarionyer mcm nie.

masa belum kawen,sebook tanyer biler nak kawen?

bila dah kawen, sebok lak tanyer bila nak dapat anak?

bila dah dapat anak, yg sulong tue boy, sebok nak tanyer bila nak dapat yg girl pulak? (as if boy or girl tue boleh order2 dkt kedai?)

bila dah dapat yg girl, sebok lak tanyer biler yg no.3 lak?

haiihhh....aku leteyyyy...aku cakap, aku bersyukur dgn anak2 yg aku ada sekarang. biarla aku nak puas2 gomol2 derang. lagipon, aku sedar taraf keibuaan aku nie camana. yg 2 orang nie pon sudah mencabar minda. poooooonnnn ada yg kepoci cakap, haaa...nanti kalau anak 2 orang esok besar, rumah sunyi camana?

haihhh...aku cakpa, takper kalau esok tua2 rasa sunyi tade benda nak buat, aku adopt la anak yatim.besar rahmat dan ganjarannyer. (dalam hati, aper masalah ko???)

lotey...lotey....dah kawen beranak pinak pon ttp kena tanyer.

dieya said...

noly,
aik.. ko yg perfectly happy with two kids satu boy satu girl and dapat anak giler cepat lps kawin pun kena soal siasat jugak? haih, i wonder what actually these ppl deem as a perfect life? kena ada anak sedozen ke? ish ish ish..

Aida Rezuan said...

Dieya,
Haha! I like this entry la, yup! Everything is SO true, kan? They come to your face smiling and talking in good manners and yet their words are piercing and poisonous. Kita nih sebab STILL nak hormat derang jek, kan.. sebab tuh sengih balik jek la. (pelik lak, derang tak terpikir nak hormat kita ke, kan?)
* I'm in boat 2 still, even dah jumpa Mr. Right (geli lak sebut gini).. soklan bila, bila and bila akan terus ditembak.
* simple jek sebenornye, if kita saling hormat-menghormati tak kira tua, muda, bangsa, agama.. no halnye, kan? :)

Erin said...

sgt setuju with no.2! I hate weddings & family gatherings because of that FAQ haha. Tahun dpn my cousin who is wayyy younger is getting married...cemana nak get thru tu *horror mode*

Liza said...

i hate meeting this people to certain extend, cause they will comment...

"dah gemuk yer sekarang"

haven't they heard, if you don't have anything nice to say, just shut up

dieya said...

aida,
kadang2 rasa penat laa terpaksa hormat ppl who don't deserve to be respected, just because they are old. the more i listen to them the more i believe that age doesn't equate maturity, big time!
hohoho geli sebut mr. right yek.. nasib baik señor tomi tak paham, kalu tak kecik ati insan yg penyayang nasi lemak itu :-D

erin,
hahaha i know! omg ur younger cousin is getting married? tu dah red alert mate. ko apply laa transfer pegi pedalaman sarawak ke mana2 supaya hidupku aman tenteram.. bernas tak? ;-)

ahkakbatik said...

ala... takyah balik kg la taun ni...meh rayo ngan kaktek...
jangan lupes bungkuih tart nenas 2 balang, semperit, almond landen, maruku, rempeyek, mazola dan wajib kicap 3 botol...

err.. dan kasut zang toi...kaktek nak tumpang glemer pinjam buat tangkap gambo raya...ekekekk...

dieya said...

k liza,
omg.. jahatnya mulut diorang! i so menyampah when ppl give negative remarks on physical appearance, mcm laa yg bagi comment tu body macam nasha aziz. cheh!
i know this one uncle kalau org kata wife dia gemuk he would say "baguslaa kawin ngan aku jadi gemuk, maksudnya aku bagi bini aku cukup makan.. kalau kurus karang org kata aku tak bagi dia makan pulak.."
so i guess you can twist it as a compliment to your hubby ;-)

dieya said...

k tek,
good ideo! sok den poi jalan tar, nanti den bungkuih kan apo2 k tek bokonan. dongan kasut zang toi sekali den hangkut poi amerika nun!

-farahsu- said...

jawapan aku utk raya thn ni bg soklan #2..sengih ajekla sambil dlm hati ckp suke ati ko la labu nk tanya apa...aku taknak jadi labu,baik aku jadik carrot.makan banyak2 mata jadi terang :D

dieya said...

farah,
betul tu farah.. bior laa mereka terjun dengan labu2 nya. nak jadi labu labi pun takpe. bagus jugak makan carrot banyak2 membantu sistem penghadaman. jgn kulit jadi oren macam carrot sudah :-D

sheri said...

haha..i bet u guys envy me, i don't have to mengadap sedara mara laser dgn soalan2 best :p but let's not focus on the negatives, focus on the positive :D u guys get to eat scrumptious food, unlike me :( and no matter how horrible they can be, there's NOTHING like having family around. Think of it like this (baik sangka) they ask because they.. ehem.. care ;). have a beautiful raya. i'm gonna try to be thankful even though i am gonna miss my family so much :( sob sob sob

dieya said...

sheri,
you bet we are! rasa nak lari pegi perth and terjah rumah u tumpang beraya.. hahaha! they care eh, yeah right whatevaaaaa :-p
alamak don't la babe, i'm sure ur mum gonna visit u real soon kan?

Maya Marisa said...

Eh, i pun nak menyelit..aiyo, nice n3 you. Hot habis topic nie. Well, face the fact, most malays are very nosy. But wat to do. Its part n parcel of life

dieya said...

maya,
sila2 menyelit selagi ada ruang kita selit :-D
itulah some ppl just can't help but to stick their penyek nose into other ppl's life kan. yeah what to do, sabar je la. diorg tambah dosa kita tambah pahala.

diyana said...

Yes Sheri, betui, focus on the good things, at least they dpt jumpa sedara mara dan mengeratkan silaturrahim dan melonggarkan saiz pinggang (makan banyak). Yang mana suara2 tak best tu, filter out and don't take it seriously.

dieya said...

diyana,
yup agreed, take it like a pinch of salt saja sudah. banyak mkn garam pun boleh kena darah tinggi :-p

lucky said...

Wah meriahnya comments kat post nih, meh la nak tumpang sekaki.. hehehe

For me before kahwin, mmg no.2 lah. and right now i am experiencing no.1. i think its culture kot.. di kalangan orang² malaysia.. mmg itu FAQ nya. to me, its a rather personal question.. tp i dah ada standard answer for that dah..

bila nak ada baby ?
- I ask myself the same question. tp bila dah ada nnt i announce lah kat FB ye.

planning ke ?
- (dalam hati) u really want me to share our private and personal life?

si dia tu baru sebulan kawin dh berisi, awak dh lama kawin tak berisi lagi ? (i get this ALOT). - sometimes i buat muka kesian and just say, ntah lah. itu rezeki dia.. mungkin belum rezeki kitorang lagi..

and then orang akan just rase bersalah kot.. i just biarkan mereka rasa bersalah.. siapa suruh tanya soalan sensitif ?

and ada penambahan for me, 'tu la, siapa suruh kawin lambat sgt? jangn tunggu lama², umur makin meningkat'
- wow can you BE more pedas??

kadang² i dunno why they really ask. nak mengusik ke or nak be happy for us ke ? whatever it is, i feel that it is a very sensitive issue. kita taktau problem orang tu or whatever that he/she might be going through.

dalam Islam pun, kita tak digalakkan share tentang personal marriage life kita (for me, those things are very personal).

there are other things that you can talk about that aren't too personal.. betul hok ?

dieya said...

dora,

hehehe sila2 dua tiga kaki pun boleh :-D

i SOOOOO agree with everything you said, especially the part that these stuffs are very personal. i've never tried the "muka kesian" trick, thanks for the tips! i really wanna make these people rasa bersalah so they know that their nosy acts are really hurtful!